On the very same morning that the United States
targeted the Moon with a
$79 Million 2.2 ton kinetic energy bomb, Oslo Norway announced that Obama, the President of the country who just attacked the moon, would be awarded the
Nobel Peace Prize.
It was asserted by General McChrystal that Obama use a show of force to put the Taliban on their heels, and after weeks of internal strife, countless meetings on the matter, and public opinion polling, Obama made the call to attack the moon's southern pole.
The explosive event was seen by earth bound proletarians as they were making their way to the factories in the early hours of the morning. No military response has yet been detected from the moon, and the Taliban - lacking interest in modern astronomy or technology of any kind - was absolutely unaware of the event. No official response on the number of casualties, but it has been made clear that neither Bin Laden nor any Sr. Taliban or Al Qeada officials were injured in the attack.
Norway's response to the events of the morning was to grant Obama the Nobel Peace Prize, for his messianic ability to heal the world through touch, turn moon water into whines, and to remind him that the next time he is in Copenhagen, Denmark to just hop on a nice ferry and visit Norway too!
In other news, Obama refused to meet with 1989 Nobel Peace laureate Dali Lama, until he could meet with Imperialist Communist Chinese officials who claim the Dali Lama is a criminal for inciting revolutionary discussion over Chinese occupied Tibet. Obama stated that his snub of Mr. Lama was due, largely, to the fact that "the Chinese Government have my balls in a vice, and there is really nothing I could do to assist a criminal like the Dali Lama without the council of my rich Chinese pals."
Meanwhile, Obama is taking heat from pesky Americans who are concerned that his lack of pressure on Iran and the defunding of human rights watchdog groups are directly responsible for Iran's sense of empowerment and continued nuclear ambition. Israeli officials were left scratching their heads over the announcement of Obama's Nobel Peace Prize, and offered sincerest condolences to the citizens of the Moon after learning of their US bombardment.
Still, no official comment has been received from moon officials on the awarding of the prize, the snubbing of the Dali Lama, developments in Iran, or the recent attacks by the United States.
This story will be updated as new developments occur.
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Ridiculous News UPDATES -
1. The
far left is mocking Obama's Peace Prize, stating "
The Nobel Committee just turned themselves into a big joke. That is some powerful hopium they are smoking."2. It appears that the lunar attack may have been repelled by the Moon Citizens. No clear evidence of debris clouds or impact were seen from earth. This may be an indicator that the Moon will, in fact, retaliate against the US.
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BREAKING NEWS UPDATE -
3. Tom at
tomnation.com has just informed us that Lunar Citizen and Dreamworks Icon "Fishing Pole Boy" may be the first confirmed casualty of the US lunar attack. Dreamworks has released the following photo:
It appears that Fishing Pole Boy was last seen near the Lunar South pole, near the region targeted for the US attack. Lunar Officials led a massive search and recovery effort which was called off when fragments of a tackle box were located scattered about the southern lunar surface. Dreamworks will be releasing a statement about the loss of their beloved icon. No statement is expected from the White House, who has been very tight lipped about the incident. Fishing Pole Boy is survived by his father, the Man in the Moon, his brother, Mac Tonight, and his domestic partner, the MTV Music Award.
Russian Nuclear ICBM testing failure over Norway brings into question the timing of the test, occurring on the same day that American President, Barack Obama, heads to the country to accept the Nobel Peace Prize.
