Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Scariest Halloween for Democrats

A cool, crisp fog hung low over the dawn twilight. A stagnant air echoed a tense silence across the nation of states. Light slowly crept from the horizon, like an entombed body pulling itself from beneath the earth. In the distance a steady rustle in the fresh amber leaves approached.

Crinch-crunch, crinch-crunch.

My eyes strained to catch a glimpse of the figure through the fog; a silhouette, hunched and foreboding slowly materialized.

My stomach become knots and a shiver down my spine accompanied the erect neck hairs. Something was not right. My heart began to race as the rustling footsteps continued to approach.

Crinch-crunch, crinch-crunch.
Seconds became hours. Frozen with fear, I was helpless against the impending encounter. My hands began to shake as my body became overcome with adrenaline. This is the moment. Fight or flight. My pulse quickened, my breath steadied. The figure continued forward, locking onto me as his next target.

Crinch-crunch, crinch-crunch.

Suddenly from somewhere above the fog a raven shouted out in panic; his deep bellow shattering the crisp stillness. My senses were overwhelmed; my ears shuttered at the sound, my face cringed, my body contorted grossly and disfigured at what my eyes were seeing.

The silhouette stepped into view. His large dark hands reached out in my direction. He did not lose pace.

Crinch-crunch, crinch-crunch.

With a 'THUD' the figure dropped death at my feet, and disappeared from view, once more into the fog.

Crinch-crunch, crinch-crunch.

The fading of his footsteps returned me to my foggy prison. The air thick with the musk of what lay at my feet. Pulpy and damp, my nostrils stretched as the scent rose from below. My eyes, fearing the result, slowly moved down to reveal what I had feared; only worse.

I knelt and scooped the limp mass into my arms. Tears of frustration and fear filled my eyes. My body trembled. A weakness overcame me; I dropped to my knees. The thud next to my hunched and weeping body revealed the source of my terror.

I reached my hands to the sky and roared in agony, arching my back and sending the scream of horror through the still air. The hurried beat of wings beyond my sight, and the pause in the distant rustling steps of leaves indicated that I had received my gift this Autumn morning.

I collapsed, clutching my arms in a death grip across my chest. Panic coursed through my veins.

Laying next to me on the ground, the huddled mass of paper; whose headline read "Conservatives Sweep Congress. Republicans regain the Majority".

I am shattered, shaken, and broken. I have been brutalized and beaten. Trepidation is my life, now. The unknowing is my purgatory. I am alone.

I am...

Pelosi.

2 comments:

  1. I'm stuck at work in a "support function" all night, so I figured "Why miss Halloween... I'll just blast democrats with the spirit of the season" :)

    Glad you enjoyed!

    ReplyDelete